myhoniahaka:

Quick tips for writing romance

  • Consider what your characters like about each other
  • Compliment their personalities. How can character A help with character B’s weaknesses?
  • Create boundaries
  • Make the characters notice each other’s quirks
  • Have your characters get annoyed by some of their quirks
  • Go slow on getting them together
  • Build trust between characters
  • Give them a life outside of their relationship
  • Let your characters be vulnerable in front of each other
  • Have scenes where they’re helping each other
  • What makes your characters want to stay together?
  • If your romance is a sub-plot, how much attention to they give the other character?
  • What does character A notice about character B?

So I’m on Ali Express looking up their toy and hobbies section and amongst the drones and colouring books I find this:

But, oh, wait, the best part is yet to come (I’m sorry) and because of its graphic detail I’m putting it beneath the more tag

It looks like a fucking face hugger from Aliens. I’m sorry, but if I see that I’m picturing is Bill Paxton screaming “Game over man!”

Here is a face hugger:

Here is the sex thing from Ali Express:

Fucking hell man.

Have a great Friday.